By in
In a world that is anti-black, anti-women, anti-poor, you are most likely to live with your guard up.
Yes. Life is hard when you’re a woman.
I want to look at how society has played a major role in our lives and how my subconscious is also conditioned.
Making my way to the For Black Girls Only event which took place at Constitution Hill on January 31st, I realise how I was thinking twice about what to wear because I was afraid I might get the stares that bring chills down my spine.
I fear walking around the Johannesburg CBD in a short dress. We live in a country where you are asked ‘what were you wearing?’ when you enter a police station to report on rape.
Why?
As a society we will never get rid of the emphasis on gender until people truly understand that the biggest rebellion comes in the form of the unapologetic realisation of one’s individuality.
And as black girls we have got so many issues we need to suss out. We are so conditioned. We live in a society where you are asked what you do for a living as if it validates your existence. We have got a lot to get through before we can stand together to fight the bigger battle of racism, sexism and all that marginalises us.
We need feminism. We need it because society still teaches girls to turn pretence into an art form. This “Pull Her Down” syndrome is our humanity on life-support. Other women are not my competition. I stand with them. So, on the rise of liberal feminism women who hate on feminism hurt all women.
People who spread disproven, inflated statistics about women only serve to perpetuate the idea that women are weak – we are not.
So to be an African feminist today is to be part of an influential, vibrant, exciting force. And that’s why I’m thankful for events like For Black Girls Only. We opened up our souls to spiritual nutrition, and our spirits collided. For healing. For acceptance. For co-existence. For Black Girls Only.
Another take on For Black Girls Only:
I was shunned from #ForBlackGirlsOnly
When Simone Kley (24) heard about the #ForBlackGirlsOnly event, she didn’t think she would be faced with attacking inbox messages on Facebook from people prohibiting her from the event because of her skin colour.
She heard about the event on Facebook and when she inquired about attending it, she received scathing inboxes from people telling her that she would not be welcomed to the event because she is coloured and not black, as the event clearly states For Black Girls Only.
“I clicked that I was attending the event and every time I clicked on it, I checked who was going and if I was going to be the only coloured girl and it was obviously mainly black girls,” she explains.
She then posted on the wall asking if coloured people were welcomed because she is biracial – her father is black and her mother is coloured. She wanted to know if she would fit into this category. She said someone gave a description of how coloured people can come. And then she started receiving inboxes.
“People whom I’m not friends with on Facebook were inboxing me saying things, “Can’t you read? It says For Black Girls Only.” I ignored it. Someone who I am friends with on Facebook then said I can actually attend. Eight inboxes later, I received messages from people from different places saying I shouldn’t go. I spoke to my cousin, who is black and I knew she would be interested in going,” she said.
The biracial photographer felt she wanted to join in and be part of the event because she is from a biracial family and thought she could relate to the movement. She also has black friends, and she wanted to support them with the movement.
“I could just imagine the atmosphere. All these smart, beautiful, intelligent women at this event sharing ideas, and being part of this awesome initiative”.
“I was despondent with the reaction I got from people. I mean, my cousin is black, I’ve got black friends and I felt like I could relate with black women on a level of some sort,” she said disappointedly.
She decided not to go to the event.
“I stayed away because I didn’t know what to expect. What if I’m not welcomed there, what if it gets out of hand? So I figured let me not go. I don’t want people to fight with me”.
As disheartened as she was about this, she still feels happy that women could come as one and unite and celebrate how far they’ve come – and she would have loved to be part of this.
“When you say women of colour, do I not fit into that category? I was disappointed that I couldn’t be part of the celebration of your successes. At the same time, I am so happy that black women have reached this point where they are proud of themselves and how far they’ve come,” she adds.
“It would’ve been very exciting to be part of it. For me it has never been about race. At the end of the day we are all human,” she concludes.
